It's So Hard To Say Goodbye
by with-a-flower-in-her-hair
Summary: Draco blinked, and saw the world, through the filtered screen his tears had made, as though fractured into thousands of tiny pieces. He reached out, and let out a heart-wrenching sob, as his fingers passed through those of the one person he had ever loved


Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be.

Genre: Angst (although a slight pick up at the end I guess... not all sunshine and roses though)  
Romance (in the past mainly though, and it's kinda sad, not fluffy really...)

Warnings: Angst (duh), implications of slash

Summary: Draco blinked, and saw the world, through the filtered screen his tears had made, as though fractured into thousands of tiny pieces; each one colourful, beautiful, broken. He reached out, and let out a heart-wrenching sob, as his fingers passed through those of the one person he had ever wanted, ever cared for, ever loved.

A/N I can't seem to stop writing at the moment... I have loads of little one-shots all floating around, waiting to be finished and posted. Unfortunately this writing spree doesn't seem to extend quite yet to 'Illusions.' –sigh-  
Anyway, this is in Draco's POV, set just after the final battle.  
Hope you all like!

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The moon shone down upon the scene before him, outlining everything in an eerie glow; making everyone seem as though they were half-imagined, part of an endless dream, or an all too realistic nightmare. He could feel the blood on his hands beginning to dry and crack, stiffening the movement of his fingers, and bringing his mind back to the reality of what had happened. He reached up one, blood encrusted hand, and wiped at his eyes, serving only to add to the red already smeared across his face. He felt his knees give way beneath him, and he slid down onto the floor, wrapping his arms around himself. He began to rock, slowly, backwards and forwards, as the tears gathering in his eyes blurred his vision of the battle field lain out before him. He blinked, and saw the world, through the filtered screen his tears had made, as though fractured into thousands of tiny pieces. Each one sparkled, as if being shown to him through a delicate crystal; each one colourful, beautiful, broken.

He looked up, hearing someone travelling towards him, feet crunching on the frost-covered ground. Bushy hair, face torn with anguish and worry, ripped, torn, blood soaked robes. He looked down again, and buried his head in his knees. The girl stopped, stooping down so that her face was in line with Draco's. Draco flinched, as he felt a hand reach out, and touch him on the shoulder, and a voice whisper against the top of his head.

'I'm sorry Draco, I am so, so sorry.'

Draco felt his hand clench around his knees, as the tears finally broke through, and began running clear, shining tracks down his grimy face. The hand on his shoulder began to move in slow, comforting circles, and the voice whispered to him again.

'Draco, I know it hurts, but there's nothing you can do. We all did our best, but it's over. He's gone.'

The hand briefly tightened on his shoulder before leaving altogether, the sound of retreating feet telling Draco that its owner had left. He sat, in contemplative silence for a long time, unchecked tears still streaming down his face. He couldn't believe the turn his life had taken. He could still remember a time, not so long ago, when his worst enemy had been Argus Filch, his worst fear, being caught out of bed after curfew, or failing a particularly difficult exam. He could still remember a time, when he hated all Gryffindors on principal, and would gladly have helped anyone who wished them harm. A time when he would have followed his father to the ends of the earth, believing any and all tasks he undertook to be wholly and justly right. A shudder ran through his body. He could still remember that time, but the feelings it had held, were all but eradicated from his mind. The carefree nature of his childhood had fled, the moment he realised the truth.

Draco looked up, staring out over the battlefield once more. The truth hurt. His eyes slowly slid back into focus, tearing him away from his happy past. As the grounds reappeared in his still fractured vision, he saw a ghostly figure standing before him, reflected in each of the tiny shards he was seeing. His eyes widened, and he reached out, gasping at the pain the movement stirred up in his well abused body. He stretched out, further and further, fingertips reaching for something that through even his broken, and pain filled mind, he knew wasn't really there. Still, the figure smiled at him, reaching forward to touch his fingertips to Draco's. They passed right through each other.

Draco let out a heart-wrenching sob, as his fingers passed through those of the one person he had ever wanted, ever cared for, ever loved. As he looked back up at the figure, it smiled a small, sad smile, and turned away.

'No!' Draco heard himself cry out. 'No, please.'

The figure turned once more to face him, his eyes shining with tears. Draco became dimly aware that there were people surrounding him now, calling out to him, asking who he was speaking to. He heard them, shouting.

'Get Madame Pomfrey, quick!'

'He's gone mad, look at him.'

'Poor boy, talking to nothing. He needs help.'

But Draco paid them no heed, his eyes were still fixed on those of his lost love.

'Please don't leave me,' he whispered.

The figure just smiled his sad smile, and reached out a hand to Draco again. Draco leaned forward, desperate to feel, to hold his love, just once more. But his fingers simply slipped through. Draco cried out, shaking and sobbing. The figure moved towards him, cupping his ghostly hands around Draco's face. The figure moved his mouth to Draco's ear, and whispered, so quietly into it.

'I love you.'

Draco made a desperate movement forward, falling through the figure, and onto the wet, muddy ground. He lay, face down, unmoving, pleading with every deity he had ever known or heard of, to let him have just one more moment, one more touch. He felt a strong hand on his shoulder, and heard the gasps of all those surrounding him. He turned, slowly, onto his back, and let out a loud cry. He threw himself instantly into the other boy's arms, dragging him down onto the floor with him, whispering into his ear all the time.

'I love you, I love you so much. Please don't go. Don't leave me.'

He felt tears that weren't his sliding down his cheeks, and he gripped the other boy tighter still.

'How are you here?'

Draco felt the other boy shrug, and looked up to see a bewildered expression upon his beautiful face.

'I don't know.'

Draco pulled his face down towards his, stopping just millimetres from his lips.

'Then I don't care,' he whispered, furiously. 'I don't care why your here. Just, please, please, don't go.'

Slowly, terrified the other boy might disappear at any moment, he closed the gap between their lips, and almost cried, as the other boy stayed wonderfully, inarguably real. He pulled back, looking up into the other boy's eyes.

'I love you,' he said, 'more than I think you'll ever really know.'

The boy smiled at him. 'I know you do.'

Draco closed his eyes, breathing in the smell of the body lying on top of him, drinking in the scent of the one boy he had hated, cursed, loved, and caressed. He felt the weight shift, and made to tighten his arms, only to find that they slipped straight through the boy. He opened his eyes, and cried out in pain, as he realised that the other boy had vanished. He sat up, looking around desperately, and felt a gentle breeze blowing gently on the back of his neck. He turned, and saw the figure of the boy standing just behind him.

'I love you,' he mouthed, before smiling his sad, little smile, one last time, and turning away from Draco. Draco watched, as his love walked slowly away, appearing smaller and smaller with every step he took, until he disappeared completely, swallowed up by the increasing glow of the rising sun.

He turned to look at he still fractured world, contemplating the people standing before him. They looked shocked, scared, as if, Draco realised with a small laugh, they had seen a ghost. He smiled, realising, in a way he had never truly realised before, just how special his love had been. Even in death, he hadn't left Draco. Tears once again filled his eyes, as he remembered the words his love so often repeated, learnt from his first, and greatest protector.

'I will only truly have left, when none here are loyal to me.'

Draco looked up at the sky, marvelling at the colours the rising sun had drawn out of it.

'You can never leave then, Harry,' he whispered, tears running down his tilted neck. 'I love you, always.'

Silence answered him, and he slid back onto the ground, covering his face with his still blood soaked hands.

It was over. Hermione was right.

There was nothing he could do.

The girl appeared at his side, the soft pressure of her hand pressing down on Draco's shoulder once more.

'You'll see him again Draco, one day.'

Draco nodded. 'I know.' Slowly, he rose to his feet, looking behind him at the place where Harry had disappeared.

'Love you,' he whispered. 'Always will,' before turning, for the last time, away from his love, and walking back up to the castle.

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A/N I'm not entirely sure if this makes complete sense... but as I obviously knew what it was about :P, I really liked it and couldn't bring myself to change it.

Anyway, drop me a review, let me know what you thought :)


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